


Strawberry Milk Helps You Grow, Tantei-kun

by Smashcontrol



Category: Gintama, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Help, I Don't Even Know, Tags Are Hard, no beta we die like men, the crossover no one wanted or needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23790757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smashcontrol/pseuds/Smashcontrol
Summary: Gintoki is suddenly transported into Detective Conan and "shrunk" (more like rejuvenated by 10 years) by the Black Organization. Was Takasugi also transported with him? How many headaches can Conan withstand until he loses it? And most importantly, does the author suck at summarizing? First fanfic so, please help.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 54





	1. Even in Another World, One Must Keep His Cool...

"TAKASUGI!!!"

"GINTOKI!!!"

Just as both men's katanas were about to clash, a blinding light emerged at the core of the battlefield, blinding everyone present. It didn't last long, maybe a couple of seconds, but as soon as it was gone and everyone's eyes adjusted, they found that both the wanted terrorist and the Yorozuya leader were gone.

"Wh-where's Gin-chan?" Asked the red-headed Yorozuya, her voice quivering in fear of the things that might've happened to the white-haired samurai.

"Damn you Takasugi," growled an enraged Katsura as he quickly placed a blade up to Matako's throat, "Tell me where he took Gintoki."

"I... I don't know," She whispered with shock-filled eyes.

* * *

**Even in another world, one must keep his cool. Wait, what other world?**

The only thing that Gintoki could see was the night sky above him. His mind felt foggy and the last thing he could remember was Takasugi's ugly face shouting at him. Wait. Takasugi's ugly face shouting at him with his katana about to slash him? It couldn't be... He's not... dead, is he?

"Like hell am I dead!" shouted Gintoki as he rapidly stood up, "That moron? killing me? Give me a break! It doesn't matter if I have to fight myself off a sexy angel's arms on my way to heaven, you can't get rid of me that easily dammit!!!"

Unluckily for him, he just so happened to had magically appeared behind a bush that kept him protected and hidden from view until he started screeching a few moments ago. Had he not been as disoriented as an anemic 14-year-old girl after standing up a little too fast, he might've been able to dodge the steel pipe attack coming from a large man that had managed to sneak up behind him.

The large figure menacingly stood before the unconscious man and turned to his partner, "Aniki, what do we do? He probably saw the deal go down."

"Don't panic, just give him the drug we gave to that Kudo guy," instructed a slightly taller guy with long, silky white hair. If Gintoki had seen him, he probably would've pulled his hair out on a fit of rage and envy.

"Are you sure? We don't know if Kudo's truly de-"

"Just do it," he hastily whispered as he grabbed quickly grabbed a briefcase that had previously been on the floor right next to him, "I think someone's coming."

After forcing the pill down the man's throat and watching him squirm due to the drug's effect, they made their escape on a black car.

* * *

Three figures could be seen walking down the street. At a simple glance, they were just two kids walking with their grandpa, but little did the casual observer know how abnormal they truly were.

For starters, they weren't children. One of them was a former scientist from the Black Organization. She was the creator of Apotoxin 4869, the drug that had shrunk her and the boy Edogawa Conan, who was walking next to her. Edogawa Conan was a whole other topic, as behind those innocent blue eyes lies a whole bank of knowledge not expected from someone his apparent age.

Now both her, former scientist Miyano Shiho and the renowned high school detective, Kudo Shinichi, had to track down the organization or they would be stuck like that forever. To most people, this would seem like a severe case of an early development of eight-grader syndrome, but to them, it was their reality.

The old man walking behind them was mostly normal though.

"You were lucky Shinichi," the old man broke the silence, "had Ran-kun not allowed you to stay overnight, Ai-Kun wouldn't be able to do her research."

The boy didn't say anything, all he did was look at the man with a twitching grin, clearly not in the mood to talk about the girl he was currently living with.

Just as he was about to give one of his sassy replies, a black car dashed right in front of them, almost running over the two young children. Professor Agasa was about to shout after the driver but a pain-filled cry coming from a nearby park beat him to it.

Having been in this situation countless times before, all three of them rushed to the source of the sound and found a passed out teenager wearing an odd white yukata.

* * *

Gintoki was not having a good time. He felt as if he was being baked on an oven with no escape, the temperature rising with each passing second. And just as it started, it stopped. He opened his eyes and he was met with a white ceiling above his head.

'Now I have done it,' he thought, slowly losing all hope, 'guess that clown did kill me.'

"Looks like he woke up," A cool voice announced beside him, slightly surprising him. He tried to move his head to look at the speaker but a sharp pain behind his head stopped him, "Try not to move too much, you might have a concussion."

"Where am I?"

"You're in Professor Agasa's house," a childish voice behind him replied, "We found you passed out and bleeding in a park, what happened to you?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," He said as he slowly managed to sit up without passing out, "One moment I'm fighting my idiot 'comrade' and the next I'm lying half-dead on the grass."

"You were probably beaten up by him," as soon as those words left Agasa's mouth, he was met by an intense glare from the apparent teenager, "A-anyways, we took the liberty to treat your wounds and change your clothes, after all, they were covered in blood and sweat. You must have put up quite a good fight to end up like that."

Gintoki looked down, noticing for the first time that he was dressed in an oversized hoodie and sweatpants, "Well, at least that explains why I'm dressed like Zura whenever he tries to go undercover as a citizen."

"Do you need us to call your mom to pick you up?" A little girl (who, Gintoki noted, was the owner of the cool voice from earlier) in front of him asked.

"Huh? My mom? How old do you think I am? I can take care of myself," After declaring that, he stood up and started walking towards the door, convinced that he was going to give Takasugi the beating of his life.

"Please, sit down. You don't look a day over seventeen. I'm sure there must be someone that's worried about you," a worried professor tried to reason with him, but that didn't stop the determined Gintoki.

"Seventeen? You got your calculations wrong old man, I know some people say I look younger than I am but that's quite a..." as he uttered those words he happened to pass in front of a mirror, only to find a younger version of himself staring back at him, "stretch..."

"Hey, you okay?" The childish voice asked. This time, Gintoki could see that it belonged to a young child wearing a dorky blue suit and glasses too big for him, "You look a little pale."

"He's probably scared his mommy will find out where he's been," The light brown haired girl teased.

"Hey, what's this? What? Old man? I think your mirror's broken," The samurai couldn't believe his eyes. He looked exactly the way he did ten years ago. Well, not exactly, his hair was a little shorter than it was back then, and the multiple scars he collected the years after were still clearly visible, but other than that, the reflection was a carbon copy of his younger self.

Then again, why was everybody else's reflection correct?

'The mirror has a spell. Yes, that's it. Only my reflection is changed. That must be it,' He desperately tried to reassure himself, unaware of the thoughtful stares everybody else present was giving him.

"How old are you?" The little boy with glasses asked with a serious tone, hoping that his deduction was somehow incorrect.

"How old am I?" Gintoki repeated, his eyes still trying to make sense of the reflection staring upon him, "Zura mentioned he's 27 years old, so I guess I'm also somewhere around that."

Gintoki turned around, only to find everyone staring at him with horror. Their worst fear had been confirmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, let's just ignore everything that's going on with Sera and her family 'cause that greatly contradicts what happened to Gintoki. She won't be making an appearance for various reasons. Okay? Okay.
> 
> Thank you for reading this, I'll try to continue it. Maybe. I don't know. We'll see. This was also posted on Wattpad and Fanfiction.net, so if you find the same thing over there, just be aware it's me. I'll also try to write around 1,000 words per chapter. I also promise that future chapters won't have as many time skips ('ε｀；).
> 
> Any comments, questions, concerns?
> 
> Smash CTRL out


	2. Even Goldfish Need a Name

"Okay. So you mean to tell me... that I've been rejuvenated about ten years because this so-called 'Black Organization' forced me to take a drug that _you_ created," Gintoki questioned as he accusingly pointed his finger at Haibara.

"Don't point, it's rude. And yes, that's what happened," Informed Haibara for what must've been the 30th time. Everyone else had moved on from the conversation, they were too tired to keep it going, but Gintoki kept on pestering Haibara for more information. Both Shinichi and Haibara had a rather simple time accepting their situation and moving on, but Gintoki just couldn't believe what was happening to him.

"No no no no," muttered Gintoki as he looked outside, searching for something that wasn't there, "You mean this is Edo? This isn't happening... This isn't happening... THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!!!"

**Even goldfish need a name**

Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing, startled by Gintoki's sudden outburst.

"I WAS JUST MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS AND THAT GORILLA DECIDES TO THROW ME ONTO THIS SITUATION? WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?a" Gintoki's voice only grew louder and louder, frightening everyone present. If they weren't afraid of him then, they were now, "I KNOW I ALWAYS SAY IT'S GOOD TO BE A CHILD NO MATTER YOUR AGE BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH!!! THIS ISN'T EVEN THE SAME SHOW ANYMORE!!!"

It stayed silent for a while, no one dared move an inch, until Professor Agasa cleared his throat, not quite sure how to deal with the situation, "A-anyways, Gintoki-kun, I bet you're hungry, why don't you grab something from the kitchen and calm down for a bit?"

"Yeah, you're right. You're right. Everything's gonna be alright, " He kept reassuring himself as he made his way to the kitchen, his eyes set on something extremely sweet, sweeter than anything he has ever tasted in his life.

"You know, now that you're on the organization's radar, it would be best if you got an alias," advised Haibara as she narrowed her eyes at Gintoki, who at the moment was pouring the whole sugar container into a glass of water.

Shinichi looked up from his mystery novel, a small twinkle showing in his eyes, "You're right. Matsumoto Rampo might be a good one. You look like a Rampo."

"I was actually thinking Natsuo Miyabe, it has a nice ring to it," Argued Haibara, who now was slightly horrified by the way the silver-haired teen was spreading condensed milk over a toast as if his life depended on it.

"Hmm... You know, I think Yokomizo Seicho wouldn't be too bad," Inquired Professor Agasa after thinking for a while. All three of them went onto a huge argument of which name was best, leaving Gintoki to eat everything and anything sweet within the kitchen limits.

By the time Gintoki was done eating, the argument was still going strong. Gintoki was getting annoyed at them, it was like looking at a family arguing over the name of their brand new goldfish. Gintoki was pretty sure they were just minutes away from putting names in a hat and letting fate decide. Not that he had a good track record with it.

"Are you guys done?" He asked in an annoyed tone, trying to get their attention, "I'm pretty sure they won't come after me, they didn't even get a chance to clearly look at me. My name is Sakata Gintoki and it's staying that way. If you guys want a nickname so badly, you can call me Gin."

The moment the name left his mouth, he was met with murderous looks. If looks could kill, then they better charge the 7-year-old boy with first-degree murder. Not that the others were any better.

In one swift move, the 7-year-old leveled his watch to his eye, producing a small bull's eye, and made a funny clicking sound. Everything went dark afterward.

The shooter turned to Haibara, panic filling his voice, "Haibara! You think...?!"

The girl answered immediately, leaving no space for the shrunken detective to start formulating theories, "No. That's definitely _not_ the Gin you're thinking about. He would never allow anyone else to use his name, it's probably just coincidence he has the same nickname. If they knew, we would already be dead."

"Haibara-kun is right, Shinichi-kun. I just don't see why they would simply wait," Said the professor with a thoughtful look on his face. The detective chose to relax upon hearing those words, but that didn't mean he wouldn't keep a close eye on him.

Something about the guy bothered Shinichi. Actually, many things about him bothered Shinichi. The yukata he had on when he found him made no sense, there weren't any festivals going on at the time. He also didn't like the fact that he had two katanas on him when they found him, were he and his "comrade" fighting with them? But what bothered him the most were his eyes. Shinichi had seen many, many dead-looking eyes throughout his life, but all of them were on dead people, never on the living.

"Well," said Professor Agasa as he stood up, "we better wrap it up for the night, it's time to go to sleep. We can just leave Gin-kun asleep on the couch."

* * *

The next morning, Gin woke up to a small 7-year-old gently shaking him. He felt confused, he didn't know who this strange, sassy-looking child shaking him was. Suddenly, he remembered what happened yesterday and a deep groan left him.

"I was kind of hoping what happened yesterday was some sort of weird fever dream," He told the shrunk scientist, kind of hoping for a consolation. The only thing he got from her were instructions to keep still while she examined him, something that went on for longer than the perm haired teen would've liked.

"Are you done?" Gin asked her as she put all her medical equipment away. A vein was visible on her forehead, that was the 10th time he'd asked her. He was acting more like a child than Shinichi when he puts on the "Conan" facade, and that was irritating her more and more.

"Yes, I'm done. But, there's something that worries me," She informed, looking over all the noted she wrote down during the examination, "I'm afraid your sugar levels in your blood are dangerously high, you should cut back your sweets before you get diabetes."

"I know. My doctor told me that if I continue eating so much sugar, my balls will explode," he answered in a carefree tone, leaving a stunned Haibara as he made his way to the kitchen and opened the fridge, "Do you have any maple syrup left by the way?"

The shrunk scientist had no word to describe the way she was feeling, how could someone be so carefree about their own health? What did the numbers in her chart mean? And more importantly, what kind of doctor would tell a patient that sort of thing? Haibara would have to conduct more experiments to find out the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing relevant happened in this chapter, it's kind of boring, to be honest, but I promise it'll get better soon.
> 
> Any comments, questions, concerns?
> 
> Smash CTRL out


	3. You Can Pretend All You Want...

Otose's Snack House was unusually quiet that day. Instead of laughter and howling that would be heard whenever that certain group of people got together, one could hear the crickets chirping outside. 

All of them were seated on the sofas. Even though they were in a bar, not a single drop of alcohol had been drunk thus far. They had to be sober for this and they knew it.

Katsura felt too much time had been wasted and decided to break the silence, "So, any ideas?"

* * *

**You can pretend all you want, but once someone finds out how you truly are, it's hard for them to think otherwise**

Gintoki felt like the world was ending. He stared into those stone-cold eyes, clearly belonging to the person who'll be responsible for his death. He opened his mouth to say what might be the last of his words, but nothing came out. He was too stunned to speak. How could this be happening to him? Why? Why? Why...

"WHY CAN'T I EAT SUGAR DAMMIT?" He screamed, finally able to find his voice.

The two other men at the table were visibly uncomfortable at the ongoing exchange. They just wanted to eat their breakfast in peace, but both Haibara and Gin started arguing the moment Gintoki tried to pour the little of the remaining sugar in his cereal.

The usual cool expression Haibara usually wore was gone, replaced by a pissed one, "I already told you that you're at high risk for diabetes, either you go sugar-free, or you die."

"I'll tell you the same thing I told my doctor, I've already decided to live a delicious, creamy life, no matter how short," Barked Gintoki as he made a move towards the sugar container.

To the other spectators, this situation was almost comical, they were watching an 8-year-old girl lecture a teenager on what was healthy and what wasn't. Definitely, something you didn't see every day.

Both the health nut and the sugar junkie were glaring at each other, hoping the other would give in, when Doctor Agasa interrupted, "Haibara-kun, please calm down. Gin-kun, I know how you feel. Trust me, she also has me on a diet. But she's only looking out for our health."

The perm-haired teen decided to calm down and eat his sugar-free cereal, all the while the shrunken scientist made sure he didn't slip in any sugar. Both of them were still glaring at the other when breakfast was over.

* * *

After the whole sugar-free breakfast fiasco, the silver-haired man decided to watch the weather, something he did religiously back at home. He knew he wouldn't see Ketsuno Ana when he turned on the T.V, but hopefully, he would find someone good enough.

As he channel surfed in hopes of finding a cute weather girl, the boy who introduced himself as Shinichi Kudo sat beside him. Looks really do deceive, unless Gintoki knew he was a shrunken high school detective, he would've never been able to guess. Mainly because that kind of stuff doesn't usually happen. 

Gintoki stopped at a light-brown haired girl wrapping up the weather forecast, followed by an announcement, "In celebration for Okino Yoko being this month's celebrity guest weather girl, we'll be showing an all-day documentary of Yoko-chan's career. Stay tuned!"

Gin concluded that it should be interesting enough, plus, the girl seemed cute. Everything pointed to a calm afternoon when the small child beside him suddenly spoke up, "Won't your friends miss you?"

"They better, but it's not like I can do much about it now, can I?" Gintoki followed that with, "I'm sure they'll be able to find me, I trust them."

The detective let out a thoughtful 'hmm'. He agreed that it was probably better not to contact them, the information could leak to the media and the more people knew, the higher the chance the Black Organization would be able to find them. Something still seemed off to Shinichi though. 

"What do you do for a living?" He asked innocently, hoping the child acting would crack the almost 30-year-old.

The acting was good, Gin wasn't going to lie, but knowing that he was, in reality, a 17-year-old teenager made him feel like he was watching Kondo pretend to be a baby. That didn't produce a very pleasant mental image.

The perm head wasn't sure how much he should give away, after all, he didn't want to say he was from a different show in one where they don't break the fourth wall. He wasn't sure what the consequences would be, "I do odd jobs. As long as they pay us, we'll do anything within reason. We're the house of Jacks of all trades."

"Who are 'we'?" Shinichi wasn't sure, but he knew Gin was hiding something.

"My co-workers and I," He wished Kudo would stop talking, the documentary was getting pretty interesting mentioning Yoko-chan's high school boyfriend broke up with her seemingly out of nowhere. That was screaming internalized fears that would later resurface.

"What's the name of your workplace?" The detective asked out of nowhere, bored by the documentary. He already knew everything there was to know about the idol thanks to a certain old man.

Gin was wary about his questioning. He knew that he would go and investigate him and would obviously find nothing, but that would make him more suspicious of him, "It doesn't matter, you probably won't find anything anyways. We're a small business."

"But-"

"Shush. How old are you? 17? Don't boys like you like this kind of idol stuff? I'm sure Patsuan would be over the moon if there was a detailed documentary like this about Otsu-chan."

The apparent teenager went on rambling about typical teenage boy behavior, Shinichi decided to tune out when he started saying something about making older sisters worry for leaving tissues scattered all over the room. Now Shinichi was sure something was up, why would he avoid mentioning the place he worked at? What exactly were these 'odd jobs'? Who was 'Patsuan'? Is he his son? No, the ages don't match up. Everything about Sakata Gintoki was a mystery to him, and he was determined to solve it.

An abrupt knock on the door stopped the detective's thoughts. And looked up to doctor Agasa opening the door for a smiling Ran. 

From the doorway, Ran had a quick look around the house and found Conan sitting on the couch, "You ready to go, Conan-kun?"

Conan gave a quick nod before leaving to the guest room to retrieve his things, Ran was still looking around when she asked, "Where's Ai-chan?"

"She's out running a quick errand. We're out of sugar," the doctor quickly motioned for her to come in, "Come in Ran-kun, you don't have to wait outside."

"Ah, thank you," As she stepped in, she got a better view of the couch and saw an unfamiliar mop of silver hair peering from the top, "Who's that? A friend of yours?"

The mop of hair turned around to reveal a young face, something that surprised Ran since she expected an old man. The doctor hesitated for a moment, not sure what to say, until finally being able to come up with an excuse, "A-ah, he's Gin-kun, a relative of a relative... I guess you could say he's my relative squared. "

A strong laugh followed the old man's corny joke, Ran couldn't do anything but politely laugh along, "Well, nice to meet you Gin-kun, my name is Mouri Ran."

The stranger just lifted his hand as to say 'hello' and turn back to watch the T.V. She had a closer look at the T.V and realized that he was watching the same documentary her dad was watching when she left. During the following awkward silence, where the only sound was the show going over the death of the idol's ex and the silver-haired teen paying close attention, Ran found herself thinking 'Great, another Yoko-chan otaku. He and dad should meet.'

After a long time, Conan emerged from the guest room and both of them turned to leave, "Well, we'll be going, say bye Conan."

Conan gave a quick smile before happily chirping "Bye doctor Agasa, bye Gintoki-niichan."

Once both Conan and Ran left, Gintoki muttered, "Scary."

"Why do you say so?" The professor turned around, surprised. 'Scary' would be the last thing he would describe a child by.

"He can change the way he's perceived by others in a matter of seconds," the shrunken samurai started, "He's the worst kind of enemy you could have."

"You could say so, but he's only trying to protect her. That requires lots of acting skill if he doesn't want to be found out."

"They knew each other before he was shrunk?" The samurai was surprised, was that teen really living with a girl on the lie that he was a small boy?

"Oh yeah, they were childhood friends. He started living with her in hopes that her dad, a detective will across a case involving the Black Organization."

So the 'Sleeping Kogoro' was her dad? He would need to ask 'Conan' about the sleeping part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooooh, Gintoki meets Ran. Wonder what happens next. 
> 
> Any comments, questions, concerns?
> 
> Smash CTRL out


	4. Adults Don't Understand That High School is a Battlefield

Gintoki usually didn't keep track of time, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, it was all the same to him. After all, when you're the president of the Yorozuya, you're always working no matter the day of the week. Most failed to recognize how hard of a job being the Yorozuya leader really was. Working on odd jobs, looking for clients, going to pachinko, horse races, casinos, he had to make money somehow dammit!!!

He was surprised when Dr. Agasa woke him up early one morning. During his stay there, the old man usually allowed him to wake up late, after all, he had to "rest and not get himself in trouble, " according to that sugar stealing brat. 

"Hey, Gintoki-kun, come on," The doctor said, trying to wake him up by shaking him. He and Haibara each had their turn trying to awake him. So far they had dumped water on him, blasted rock music, and even tried to bribe him with sweets, but nothing seemed to be working. "You'll be late for school."

That seemed to do the trick, the silver-haired teen sat straight up with a mortified expression on his face, "S-school?"

* * *

**Adults don't understand that high school is a battlefield**

Gintoki had tried to persuade Dr. Agasa that he didn't need to go to school, but the old man already had predicted that would happen and already had a counter-argument ready to go. He had threatened Gintoki into either going to school or being homeless, and Gintoki wasn't about to turn into a MADAO.

"Damn that old man, making an almost 30-year-old dude go to highschool, I even have to wear this stupid uniform. Doesn't he know this is the perfect setting for one of those twisted harem mangas?" Gintoki muttered as he and a certain brown-haired girl walked down a street, "I can already imagine it. A perverted out-of-job businessman gets hit by a truck and his soul gets transferred onto a highschooler's body. He's lucky I'm a decent man."

"The heck even _is_ a MADAO?" The shrunk scientist beside him questioned, already getting tired of his useless rambling "In any case, that 'damned old man' is giving you a place to stay, so you better not do anything that would put you on the sex offender registry."

"Well, what if I just happen to fall in an awkward position? It happens all the time on Ho Love-Ru. A man should be prepared at all times, that kind of opportunity only presents itself a few times in a lifetime," He would never admit it to anyone, but Gintoki was actually feeling really nervous. At times, high school could be more ruthless than any war. 

"Life isn't a manga you know?" Haibara thought she heard a quiet "You'd be surprised," but decided to shake it off, "You'll be fine. Shinichi-kun's classmates can't be that bad, I've heard some interesting stories about them."

"What about Shinichi-niichan's classmates?" asked a small girly voice behind them. Both of them turned around to see three kids, around Haibara's apparent age, walking a little behind them. 

It was rare for them to bump into Haibara when walking to school, she often set off too early in the morning for them to have a chance at meeting their more mature friend. What made a rare event even more unusual was the strange teenager walking beside her.

"Ah, Haibara-san, who's that?" Pointed a well-dressed child next to the little girl who had spoken up earlier.

"Hey, didn't anyone teach you not to point?" Gintoki asked accusingly at the child, "My name is Sakata Gintoki. You can call me Gin. Nice to meet you."

Haibara decided to take it on from there, she didn't want the perm head to say something he shouldn't, "He's one of Dr. Agasa's distant relatives. He's staying with us for a while."

"Wow, Dr. Agasa has a big family," stated a big, bald child beside the previous well-dressed one.

"Well, Gin-niichan, I'm Ayumi. Nice to meet you!" exclaimed the little girl as she started to point to both of her friends, "This is Mitsuhiku-kun, and that's Genta-kun."

Each of the children gave a small bow before noticing that they had arrived at their school. Haibara turned to Gintoki to speak, "You just need to turn right at the intersection and you should get there on time."

"Okay. Thank you. I'll see you after this, right? I'll survive this, right? Right?" Even though words were coming out of his mouth, they weren't directed at anyone, he was already walking down the street with the face of a drafted soldier heading to war.

"Hey, will that niichan be alright?" Asked Genta as they all worriedly stared at his back, "He looked like he was about to throw up his breakfast."

"I'm sure he'll be okay," Inquired Haibara with her cool voice. Even though she never went to one, she was convinced that high school wasn't that bad.

* * *

Gintoki was _not_ okay, he was currently facing a very big dilemma. He was standing right outside the classroom door waiting for the teacher to motion him in. He could stand there and very shortly put himself at the mercy of hormonal teens, or he _could_ make a run for it, but that would make him homeless. 

Then again, what's the big deal with being homeless? MADAO does it all the time and he's relatively okay. Maybe it was time to sympathize with him. But, did he really want to end up like Hasegawa-san?

His thoughts were disrupted as the teacher opened the door with a kind smile on his face, "Sakata-kun, come right in and introduce yourself."

"Y-yes, of course," He quickly motioned himself forward and began writing his name on the board, "My name is Sakata Gintoki. Nice to meet you. I like sweets, especially strawberry parfaits but a certain someone is keeping me from eating them."

"I-it's you!" A surprised voice was heard throughout the classroom and everyone turned to its owner, Ran. 

'Could this get any more cliche? I thought that brat said life wasn't a manga...' Thought an exasperated Gintoki.

"Oh, so you know each other already? Perfect, I expect everyone here to give Sakata-kun a warm welcome," The teacher turned to the newcomer and added, "You can sit in that empty desk right there, we'll figure something out when Kudo-kun comes back."

A pained expression was briefly visible on Ran's face as Gintoki took Shinichi's old desk, and class began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned on making it all the way to lunch, but I think this is long enough for now. Thanks to anyone who reads and comments this, ya'll are the reason I keep writing this dumb story!
> 
> This is the last of the already written chapters, so depending on when you read this, you'll have to wait a bit.
> 
> Any comments, questions, concerns?
> 
> Smash CTRL out


	5. When in Doubt, do a Flashback

Gintoki had hoped that the new kid syndrome would make the whole school affair a bit easier. He was gravely mistaken. 

He now sat at an empty table to eat lunch, his lunch box filled with rice rested on his lap, a single plum rested on top. So much for letting a 7-year-old prepare his lunch. 

* * *

**When in doubt, do a flashback**

The homeroom teacher went on and on about the upcoming field trip that Friday. From what the teacher mentioned, they were going to attend a popular kendo show where they mixed comedy and the ancient art of kendo. None of them expected much since every school in the Beika region had been invited, including the elementary schools, meaning the comedy show would be pretty vanilla. Since homeroom went on for longer than expected, math class started as soon as the teacher walked in, leaving no time for the students to socialize. 

Gintoki had expected high school to be hard (it tends to be when instead of getting an education you fight in a major war), but this was too much for him. Immediately after walking in, the teacher had asked him to go up to the board and solve a problem.

"It shouldn't be too hard, I'm sure you saw this last year," She had said, mocking him (not really, that's just how he felt it), as the embarrassed teenager struggled to figure out what to do. 

The only algebraic material he was any good at was addition and subtraction. Especially subtraction. He had gotten really good at it after years of losing at pachinko. As much of an idiot as Zura was, he knew some math, he even tried to teach the troops during the Joi war but no one paid much attention to him. Now he wishes he had.

Gintoki felt a big, obscure cloud of dark energy forming behind him. Were his "classmates" making fun of him? How dare they! Don't they see he's the new kid? Why are none of the hot chicks running to talk to him dammit!!!

No one cared, in fact, it was all in his imagination.

After embarrassingly standing at the front of the class for seemingly an eternity and a half, the teacher finally decided to return him to his seat. As he made his way back he heard some slight snickers from his new classmates.

'How embarrassing!' Was the only thing on his mind as he tuned out the teacher's voice, 'I bet they all think I'm an idiot now. This sort of thing only happens to the class loser, why is this happening to me, the former White Demon?!!!!!"

These thoughts plagued his mind all the way to the end of period. If math class wasn't embarrassing enough, the next class in the curriculum was chemistry, something he had never heard of before.

The perm-headed teen expected the worst outcome, like being asked to perform an alchemy circle, but luckily for him, the chemistry teacher was absent that day and they had a free study period. Gintoki learned the wonders of cyanide from his textbook after looking up ways to possibly murder anyone who mocked him after the math fiasco. 

As the silver-haired man tried to avoid looking at anyone in the eyes, he heard a tiny female voice whispering behind him, trying to get his attention, "Psst, Sakata-kun, heeeey. Sakata-kun."

'Just ignore her, I bet she just wants to bully you, but you won't let her, no sir. I wasn't forced to come here to get bullied by teens,' Gintoki thought, still hung up on the embarrassing moment, 'There's no way anyone could've done that, it had way too many Xs and Ys. Not my fault Y wants to be isolated from its ex-'

"DON'T IGNORE ME YOU JERK," The voice shouted moments before he was forced out of his seat by a kick directed to his back. When he looked up, everyone was staring at an enraged girl. She had short, light brown hair with a hairband at the top to keep it from getting in her face.

"OI, WHAT WAS THAT FOR YOU- YOU WITCH?" The teen wanted to scream something less family-friendly at her but decided against it since everyone was looking at their direction. 

Before the conflict could go any further, another teacher walked in, signaling the start of the next period. Gintoki was somewhat pleased that it was time for history class, something he was a bit more familiar with. 

"Alright class, can anyone tell me the name of the Shinsengumi's vice-commander?" The teacher looked around the room, hoping that someone would raise their hand. When no one did, he sighed and turned to a certain silver mop, "Why don't you answer that one, Gintoki-kun?"

'Damned teacher, what's it with these people and terrorizing the new kid? At least I know this question, what's that bastard's name?' Gintoki frantically searched through his memory and felt proud when he finally came up with the answer, "Toshiro Hijikata."

The teacher stood silent for a moment before replying, "Close, it's actually Toshizo Hijikata. Very close tho, I'm impressed."

Although the teacher resumed teaching, Gintoki just stared ahead, dumbfounded. Was Toshiro not his actual name? Did he actually go through the pain of remembering that government dog's name just to get it wrong? Oh well, not like he cared much about him anyway.

"Alright class, why don't we try a harder question? It's Runaway... what?" The teacher once more stood in the middle of the class, waiting for a hand that'll never come, "Gintoki, since you were so close last time, why don't you answer this one as well?"

'Aren't there any teacher's pet in this class? I'm glad Zura is always bragging about that stupid title,' Irritated, he answered, "Runaway Kotaro."

The teacher stared at him for a moment before responding, "No. It was Runaway Kogoro. Moving on, he was known for..."

The teacher proceeded to once again teach while Gintoki was left alone in his thoughts, 'Did that gorilla plagiarize from real history? I do remember a drunk Zura complaining about hate mail saying he was the reason kids failed their exams. I didn't think he was being serious.'

Before he knew it, people were already grouping up to have lunch together, and as it is the fate of every new kid, he was left alone. 'It's fine, not like I need those bullies as friends anyway,' He desperately tried to convince himself.

He sighed as he opened the lunchbox the sugar-stealing brat gave him that morning. He hoped it contained some premium sweets to make up for the inconvenience of having to go more than 48 hours without any sugar content, but once again sighed after looking at the box. 

So much for high school being "fun".

* * *

Sonoko quickly walked towards her childhood friend, seemingly excited about something, "Nee, nee, Ran, what did you think of my front kick during chemistry? I think I'm ready to become the new Karte ace!"

Said girl made a worried expression when asked about the "front kick" her friend made during chemistry, that had caused quite an uproar, "That wasn't a front kick, to begin with, and that wasn't very nice from you Sonoko."

"Well, he deserved it for being a jerk and ignoring me."

"Who was being a jerk?" An upset voice called out behind them, the new kid was sitting alone, eating his rice on the verge of tears. It was clear that his first day hadn't gone very well and Ran felt for the guy, although it happened a long time ago she remembers being called an outsider.

"Sakata-kun, I'm sorry my friend did that to you. She's the real jerk," She turned to her friend and with a glare plastered on her face she muttered, "Apologize."

"Why me? He was the one being a jer-" She couldn't finish her sentence because her friend's glare intensified, making her fear that the karate ace would demonstrate a real front kick, "Fine. Sorry for being a jerk to you. If it makes you feel better, Kid-sama is the only one who could ignore me like that and get away with it."

Gintoki narrowed his eyes as the girl made a dreamy expression while daydreaming about her idol, "Kid-sama? Who's that?"

"You don't know who he is?!" She exclaimed as she broke away from her fantasies, "I'll give you a pass since you're new here. He's the best escape artist, he's always eluding the police with clever magic tricks up his sleeve. No way they'll catch him ever."

"Huh? Really?" Asked the uninterested teen as he finished the last of his undercooked rice, "What's so great about a Lupin wannabe anyway?"

"WHY YOU-" Before the Kaito Kid otaku could start her rant, the bell rang, cutting her off, "Ah, I didn't eat anything."

* * *

School had ended without any other complications. The silver-haired teen seemed more relaxed during his gym, Japanese literature, and English classes, which surprised everyone. Now, Sonoko and Ran were walking back home, talking about the happenings of that day.

"Who does he think he is, seriously, Kid-sama has beaten Lupin once and he will beat him again," The infuriated fangirl demanded, the conversation still fresh in her mind.

Her best friend was walking beside her, a bit uncomfortable about the girl's rant, "Y-yeah."

"Anyway Ran, what do you think about him, hmm?" The light brown-haired girl said with a mischievous smile creeping into her face, "He does have some muscles, or are you still hung up on that mystery otaku?"

"Stop Sonoko," She complained as a somber expression showed in her face, "I'm sure he'll come back..."

The other girl only stared at her, saddened by the way her friend still missed her crush. The walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Gintoki at school material. Sorry if this chapter was boring, I didn't know how to include much comedy since school's out and it pains me to think about the good old pre-corona days ;_; Btw, is everyone alright? Just trying to check in because of all the weird business going on with 2020.  
> The next chapter is gonna be used to set up the first murder mystery! Wish me luck!  
> Any comments, questions, or concerns?  
> Smash CTRL out


	6. The Best Part Of a School Field Trip...

Haibara woke up to the clattering of pans coming from the kitchen, the smell of bacon filled her nose. She made a quick glance to the clock sitting by the side of her bed, it was 7 in the morning. She usually woke up earlier than that, but because of the field trip that day, she had decided to make breakfast a little later than she normally did.

She found it unusual for someone else to be cooking, professor Agasa let her do the cooking to "get some practice", so who could be the one cooking? The only other person in the house was... No. It couldn't be.

She hurriedly made her way towards the kitchen, she could hear someone quietly humming. It was a fast and cheery song, something that would definitely get stuck in your head... Was that the Doraemon song?

She wasn't much of the anime type, but the Detective Boys would often force her to watch some of their favorite T.V. shows with them whenever they came over. The closer she got to the kitchen, the louder it got. That was definitely that obnoxious Doraemon song the kids liked to sing along to. But who was singing it at 7 in the morning? The only person she could think of was...

She rounded the corner to encounter a teenager dumping a pan full of bacon next to a tower of pancakes. The teen lifted his face to meet with the small girl he has been living with for the past few days, "Yo, you finally up huh?"

"What are you doing?" She questioned the man as he lifted one of the three plates set in the counter.

"I've done breakfast, it contains plenty of nutrients that assist your growth Nobi-, I mean, Haibara-chan," The perm head answered in a hoarse voice while holding the pancakes with one hand. For a second, Haibara thought she saw a bright moving background.

"Do you have any idea how bad bacon is for you?" She questioned the man with an incredulous look on her face.

"No, and I don't want to know," Yup, she should have expected as much "Anyway, go wake up the old man, he needs to drive us to that stupid field trip."

* * *

**The best part of a school field trip is when your parents forget to ask for the leftover souvenir money**

Many things annoyed the shrunken scientist about the recent newcomer, how he would always avoid questioning, how he refused to listen to her about how dangerous it was for him to consume so much sugar, and how lazy he was. Especially how lazy he was.

But the thing that annoyed her to no end was how much she enjoyed his cooking. She would never admit it out loud but, that was one of the best breakfasts she has had in a while. How could such a careless being create such a magnificent meal? She just didn't get it.

She spared a glance at the gray-haired man walking beside her. Both had received instructions days before to find their classes at the event, but there were so many other schools present that it was hard to single out individual uniforms. 

After staring at the stands like a near-sighted person trying to find their friends at a dimmed rock-and-roll concert, Gintoki finally spotted other teens using the same uniform he was, "Hey brat, can you find your friends on your own?" He asked while looking down at the brown-haired girl.

"Yeah, shouldn't be much of a problem," Moments after she muttered those words, a man in a nearby stand tried to get their attention.

"You guys want something? I got milkshakes, candy, anything a kid could want, chocolate," The vendor kept listing all sorts of sweets, making Gintoki's mouth start to water. He quickly glanced at the little girl next to him, knowing she would never approve of him getting a quick snack. 

_ Maybe I could sneak around after she finds her friends. Yes, yes, seems like a good idea...  _ Gintoki though in a serious manner.

His thoughts were interrupted after the shrunken scientist began to speak, "You can have one thing. Consider it thanks for breakfast."

Was his luck finally beginning to change? Could he really choose anything he wanted? No, he had to be careful what he chose, who knows when will be the next time he gets an opportunity like this.

After debating it for a long time he finally settled for a strawberry milkshake. It wasn't a strawberry parfait, but it would definitely do. When he turned around to look for the brat he realized that she was gone. Maybe she had found her friends and left. 

He quickly made his way up the stands to where his class was seated, after looking around for a few seconds, he found that annoying KID fangirl.  _ Seriously, what does she see in a symmetry obsessed freak? I mean, being the kid of the school principal is cool and all, but his character's kind of annoying. He should learn how to be more like that amazing Gintama protagonist. _

He swiftly sat next to her and tried to break the silence while drinking his milkshake, "So... nice weather we're having."

She simply stared at him with a bored look on her face. Remember kids, fighting in a major war does not spare you from awkward conversations. Just as she was about to respond (a weak attempt at conversation, really) she spotted Ran below the stands. The lights had gone out a few seconds prior, signaling that the show was about to start.

"Ran! What took you so long? Come over here," The brunette girl ran up the stairs to meet with them both.

"Sorry," She sat next to her best friend while trying to catch her breath, "It was hard to wake my dad up, he drank too much last night," The other girl just hummed in response, how typical of that old man to drink himself silly.

"Anyway Sakata-kun, how has your first week at Teitan High been?" When she didn't get a response, Ran leaned forward to get a better look at the other teen. She noticed he was doubled over while clutching his stomach, "Sakta-kun, are you alright?"

A small man Ran had seen selling sweets by the entrance hurried to the stage with a microphone in hand and started to make an announcement, "I'm so sorry to inform all of you that the staff and I just noticed that the milk used to make some of the products spoiled a few days ago. If you'd like a refund, please just come see me. Thank you."

_ No, it couldn't be,  _ Thought Ran as she began to see large sweat drops in Gintoki's face.

A taller, blond man walked up to the stage. He was dressed in a kendo uniform. Ran had seen him in the fliers promoting the event, he was a comedian that went by the name of Yamada Touma.

"Alright, with that let's get started. I thank everyone for coming here today. You guys may not know this but I actually practiced kendo in high school, it's true. So in order for you guys to understand how hard the art of kendo is, I would like to invite a member of the audience to a match against me," Ran didn't register much of what the man was saying since she was becoming increasingly worried about her struggling classmate.

Gintoki abruptly stood up, murmuring a low "I need to use the restroom" while clutching his stomach as if his life depended on it, and started to speed down the stairs. He got to the foot of the stairs before beams of lights focused on him and Mr. Yamada's voice rang throughout the gym, "Young man, where are you going? Why don't you join us?"

"But I really-" He began to say in a weak voice before suddenly, he started to be dragged by two staff members towards the stage. He tried his best to loosen their grip on him but he just. Really. Needed. To. Use. The. Restroom.

When the staff finally managed to get him on stage, they began to put a kendo uniform, similar to that of Mr, Yamada, over his school uniform. Were they really planning about to do this? "Listen, I just really need to use the restroom."

"Nah, I'm sure you'll be fine," The blond man wiped his mouth with a handkerchief before continuing, "Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself young man? What's your name?" 

"Uh, Sakata Gin- Hey, where do you think you're touching?" Gintoki didn't have time for this. He tried to walk off the stage only to be held back by the staff.

"Well, why don't you tell us about your hair? It brings a lot of attention, is that really your natural hair color or did you dye it?" Again, he wiped his mouth with his handkerchief. What was up with this guy?

"Had it since I was born," Every second that passed, Gintoki felt his dignity lower a bit more. Why was he being this guy's guinea pig? He narrowed his eyes and began to threaten the man, "If you don't let me go, I'll bankai your balls."

Laughs erupted from the audience, mainly form the seats in the back since that's where the older audience members were seated. The man took a step back and exclaimed in surprise, "Whoa, let's stay family-friendly, alright? I can't believe that's your natural hair color, do you have any proof?"

This guy was seriously pissing him off! Isn't it the golden rule of anime that the main character has something seriously weird going on with their hair? Just because he was jealous he didn't have to torture him like this... "If I show you irrefutable proof, I'll be arrested for indecent exposure."

The MC gave a hearty laugh before saying, "Ah Sakata-kun, you're a funny guy. But seriously, stay family-friendly."

The two staff members that had been readying Gintoki gave him a thumbs up before turning and leaving the stage, "Alright Gintoki, how about we make a deal? The second you beat me, you can leave to go to the restroom."

"So I just have to beat you one time? Alright," Gintoki advanced, ready to strike the man's side but was rapidly blocked. He took a step back before trying again, this time turning at the last second to get his hip at the other side. It was a success, the man that had been terrorizing him for what felt like an eternity in front of a crowd of hundreds fell on his back. 

The whole crowd erupted in applause, the samurai savored his victory before turning to the fallen man and teased saying, "Sorry old man, just for the record, family-friendly isn't the Gintama style."

That's when he felt a terrible rumble in his stomach and decided that now was the perfect time to escape to the restroom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is writing do hard? I'm pretty sure this is my longest chapter yet but bro, before I knew it I already had 600 words written down. Wth?  
> Thank you everyone for your continued support, I hope this isn't getting boring and that you read future chapters. Constructive criticism is always welcomed and I hope ya'll have a great day <3  
> Any comments, questions, or concerns?


	7. Most People Don't Believe You When You Tell The Truth

The actors on the stage were giving it their best, the warm lights bouncing off their skin, making them sweat ever so slightly. There was laughter coming from the audience, even the high schoolers (who hadn’t expected much) were laughing at the clever jokes they placed into the show so it wouldn’t be boring to them.

Yes. It was a show just like any other they had done, until something went terribly wrong. 

Yamada Touma started experiencing odd ticks, his eyes started to blink uncontrollably and his hands began to move without him telling them to. He tried to stop it, but to no avail. 

As time went on, little things started to annoy him. The previously warm light from the stage now felt inexplicably cold, same with the laughter of the audience he adored so much. Any sudden change, no matter how small, felt like a sharp stab to his brain.

One of his staff members noticed how Yamada wasn’t acting right. During a show, he loved to see the audience members laugh and react to the show he created. Sometimes he would even sit with the audience and watch the show himself. 

But right now Amaya, one of the staff members, noticed how the sociable Yamada Touma was distancing himself from the rest of the staff members.

“I’m… not feeling so great. Can you get me some water, Aki-chan?” He suddenly called out as he turned to his small vendor friend, “I would usually take one of your ‘shakes, but I guess that’s not a great idea right now, haha.”

The aforementioned Takahashi Akiba decided to fetch him some water as the rest of the staff began to notice the weird behavior from his boss. The beloved comedian tried to crack some jokes, all falling flat as worry began to spread throughout the small crowd.

The short brown-haired girl helped hold him up. Amaya noted that his body temperature seemed unusually low, and started to worry even more. She quickly asked, “Hey, you okay? Did that high schooler hit you too hard?”

The man simply resorted to look up, a strange grin sprawled across his face, “No, it’s not that. I just need to… go to the restroom real quick.”

He started to walk towards the restroom, stumbling ever so slightly. Some of the male staff tried to follow him, just to make sure he was alright, but he simply refused by saying he was, “Just going to the restroom real quick.”

“Jeez, that Yamada-san,” Started a light brown-haired woman, “Always trying to bare things alone. I told Akiba-san to pick someone that seemed less strong, even if he wanted to make up for the spoilt milk incident.”

“Yeah,” Was the only thing that came out from the stunned Amaya.

* * *

**Most People Don’t Believe You When You Tell the Truth**

Gintoki has had the runs before, but never had it been as embarrassing as this particular moment.

_ This happens to me during my first school trip? Are you kidding? It’s not that different from peeing your pants during an overnight school trip. I can’t believe the beginning of my high school career is its end.  _ Thought the former Shiroyasha, now a shell of his former self,  _ Should I go back out there? No, it’s been almost an hour. Would they search for me if I suddenly went missing? I should just go find a time machine. _

It was a tale as old as time. If something embarrassing happened to you in front of your classmates, the same story will be retold time and time again. Graduation was the only salvation to those who suffered that fate. Even then, some unfortunate souls have their stories follow them for even longer. Gintoki’s heart ached for them. 

_ Maybe SERN would let me borrow one. No, pretty sure Hououin got rid of it in this timeline... _ , his mind went on and on about possible time machine locations, until loud footsteps stopping at the restroom next to him interrupted his thoughts.

_ Oh man, I bet it was someone who also drank that infernal milkshake. I should give him some space,  _ The silver-haired samurai thought as he exited the stall and started to wash his hands,  _ I wish you the best of luck, brother. _

He was planning on quietly retiring from the restroom, but he heard some sudden movement coming from inside the restroom stall. It wasn’t the typical leg bounce or wall punch you do when struggling to take a dump, no, he heard loud crashes against the wall of the metal stall, almost like a fistfight was going on inside.

Gintoki became increasingly worried for whoever was inside. Was the milkshake really that bad? Or was something else going on there?

He swiftly made his way to the front of the stall’s door, and promptly knocked, “Umm… excuse me… are you okay? If it’s because of something you truly regret, we can travel to Geneva together...”

The crashes just kept going, showing no signs of stopping. The teen started to seriously contemplate booking some plane tickets, when a quiet, almost inaudible voice spoke, “...get… help…”

Worry took over his senses, whatever was happening, it wasn’t good. He headed towards the door of the restroom, making long strides. He remembered seeing some medical staff near the stage, whoever was in that stall, he was going to be alright.

Gintoki moved his hand forward, ready to push the door open, when the weight of the door gave in too fast under his weight, causing him to fall forward.

“Oww…” Heard Gintoki from under him. Wait, under him? He looked down and found a certain child detective being crushed under him.

“Sorry,” was all Gintoki could summon as he hastily stood up and started sprinting down the hallway.

“Wasn’t that Gin-niichan?” Asked Genta as he waited for Mitsuhiko to help Conan up.

“Yeah…” mumbled Conan once up, already feeling a bruise forming under his knee.

The three young boys went inside the quiet restroom. From the angle he was watching, he spotted an outstretched hand from underneath one of the stalls the other two boys probably couldn’t see. His heartbeat rose ever so slightly as he approached the stall and ducked to reveal a slumped over man, his chest slowly rising, but the rest of him was painfully still. 

Mitsuhiko noticed what his shorter friend was doing and called out in surprise, “Conan-kun, what are you doing?!”

“Call the police, I’ll call an ambulance,” Instructed Conan as he crawled away from the stall.

“What, why?” questioned Mitsuhiko, as he watched Conan take out his phone.

“Yamada-san has been poisoned.” ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry y’all for the long wait, my laptop broke and I had to wait ‘till I got a new one to write the story. It was a long wait. 
> 
> I also apologize for the short chapter, I thought it was best for the pace of the story.
> 
> I have decided to upload one chapter every 2 months instead of every month. Sorry to follow a hiatus with this news, but I decided to free up my schedule so I don’t have to worry about school AND updating.
> 
> Please remember that I’m in no way an expert in poisons, I simply looked up the Wikipedia page and bent some reality to fit this fiction, so please be kind in the comments.
> 
> Thank you, and any comments, questions, or concerns?


End file.
